The Fry Shack Zombie

Ugh, working in a fry shack is horrid.

Humour

 Just Thought I’d Add a Spot for a Laugh!


 

haha, the internet is stupid. 

hello its steve the owner of sympatico csolve and most other internet
companies.
i am doing a test and i need to see which internet lines are using msn so
send this
to everyone in ur list in the next 2 seconds or your internet will shut down
and never
turn back on and your computer will blow up.
 


 

 

Now that Vancouverwill be hosting the 2010 Winter  Olympics these are
some questions people the world over are asking!!!! Believe  it or not
these questions about Canadawere posted on an  International Tourism
Website (frightening, isn’t it!). Obviously the answers  are a joke; but
the questions were really asked!!!
      Question: I have never seen it warm on  Canadian TV, so how do the
plants grow?(UK)
      Answer: We import all plants fully grown and  then just sit around
and watch them die.

      Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
      A: Depends on how much you’ve been drinking.

      Q: I want to walk from Vancouverto Toronto-can I follow the Railroad
tracks?  Sweden)
      A: Sure, it’s only Four thousand miles, take  lots of water.

      Q: Is it safe to run  around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
      A: So it’s true what they say about Swedes…

      Q: It is imperative that I find the names  and addresses of places
to contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)
      A: Let’s not touch this one.

      Q: Are there any ATM’s (cash machines) in  Canada? Can you send me a
list of  them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmontonand  Halifax?  UK)
      A: What did your last slave die of?

      Q: Can you give me some information about  hippo racing in Canada?
(USA)
      A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped  continent south of Europe.
Ca-na- da is that  big country to your North…oh forget it. Sure, the
hippo racing is every  Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.

      Q: Which direction is North in  Canada? (USA)
      A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees.  Contact us when you get
here and we’ll send the rest of the directions.

      Q: Can I bring cutlery into  Canada? (UK)
      A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

      Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys’ Choir  schedule? (USA)
      A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country  bordering Ger-man-y,
which is…oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays  every Tuesday
night in Vancouverand in Calgary, straight after  the hippo races.  Come
naked.

      Q: Do  you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
      A: No, WE don’t stink!

      Q: I have developed a new product that is  the fountain of youth.
Can you sell it in Canada?  USA)
      A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans  gather.

      Q: Can you tell me the regions in  British  Columbiawhere the female
population is smaller than the  male population? (Italy)
      A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

      Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in  Canada? (USA)
      A: Only at Thanksgiving.

      Q: Are there supermarkets in Torontoand is milk  available all year
round? (Germany)
      A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of  Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk
is illegal.

      Q:  I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I  forget
its name. It’s a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
      A: It’s called a Moose. They are tall and  very violent, eating the
brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare  them off by
spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

      Q: Will I be able to speak English most  places I go? (USA)
      A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

This just goes to show how stupid some people in this world really are . . .  thats supposing this is true, I didnt go to the website and look to see if these questions were posted, but Im sure there are people in the world that were thinking them . . .
haha anyway enjoy!


    

 

  

Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a high school diploma to fix one.

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a “gripe sheet,” which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lacka sense of humor.Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas’pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline thathas never had an accident.P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.S: Almost replaced left inside main tire. P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.P: Something loose in cockpit.S: Something tightened in cockpit. P: Dead bugs on windshield.S: Live bugs on back-order.P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.S: Evidence removed.P: DME volume unbelievably loud.S: DME volume set to more believable level.P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.S: That’s what they’re for.P: IFF inoperative.S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.P: Suspected crack in windshield.S: Suspect you’re right.P: Number 3 engine missing.S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.P: Target radar hums.S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.P: Mouse in cockpit.S: Cat installed.And the best one for last……………… P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. 

S: Took hammer away from midget


“It is with saddest heart that I must pass on the following news:  

Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment
community, The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast
infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly.
He was 71.
Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin.
Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including
Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack,the California Raisins, Betty Crocker,
the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled
high with flours.

Aunt Jamima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as
a man who never knew how much he was kneaded.  Doughboy rose quickly
in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He
was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on
half-baked schemes.  Despite being a little flaky at times he still
was a crusty old man and was considered a roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, two children, John
Dough and Jane Dough plus they had one in the oven. He is also
survived by his elderly dad, Pop Tart. The funeral was held at 3:50
for about 20 minutes.”

-By Someone Very Hilarious


  

  

  

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